How I Healed from My Darkest Moment (And How You Can Too)

The Fall: When Everything Collapsed

We all have a moment that breaks us. Mine came like a slow-motion train wreck—unexpected, yet inevitable in hindsight. It was a culmination of heartbreak, loss, and feeling utterly unworthy of the life I had built. The nights felt endless, the days a blur of numbness. I wasn’t just lost; I was sinking, and nothing seemed to throw me a lifeline.

If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve been there too. Maybe you’re still there. And if you are, I need you to know this: healing isn’t linear, but it is possible.

The Turning Point: A Single Choice

The first step wasn’t a grand revelation. It wasn’t an overnight transformation. It was a whisper—one tiny moment of defiance against the darkness.

For me, it was standing in front of the mirror, looking at my tired, empty eyes, and saying, “This is not how my story ends.”

For you, it might be something different: answering a call from a friend, taking a deep breath instead of shutting down, choosing to go outside when you want to hide inside. It starts small. And that’s enough.

The Science of Healing: What Actually Works

Healing isn’t just about feeling better—it’s about rewiring your brain to process pain differently. Science backs this up. Here’s what helped me and could help you:

1. Reclaim Your Narrative (Cognitive Reframing)

Studies show that our brains attach meaning to pain. If we keep telling ourselves, “This broke me,” our brain will believe it. But if we say, “This shaped me,” we start rewriting our experience. I began journaling—not to vent, but to reclaim my story. Write yours, even if it hurts.

2. The 5-Second Rule (Interrupting Negative Thought Spirals)

Mel Robbins’ 5-Second Rule changed my life: When you feel yourself spiraling, count backward from five, then move. Get up. Take an action. The brain snaps out of its loop when interrupted.

3. The Power of Small Wins (Dopamine Rewiring)

Depression numbs us by depleting dopamine—the chemical of motivation. But even small wins can rebuild it. Making my bed. Drinking water. Walking for five minutes. Each tiny action became proof that I wasn’t stuck.

4. Connection: The Antidote to Isolation

Pain convinces us we’re alone, but neuroscience says otherwise. The vagus nerve, which controls our fight-or-flight response, is calmed through social connection. I forced myself to reach out to one person a day, even if it was just a text. It felt meaningless at first, but over time, it became my anchor.

The Emotional Side of Healing: What No One Tells You

Healing isn’t always beautiful. It’s messy, slow, and sometimes, it feels like you’re getting worse before you get better. Here’s what I wish I had known:

• You will grieve the version of yourself that was lost. But grief isn’t just about death; it’s about change. Let yourself mourn.

• You will have setbacks. Healing isn’t linear, and slipping back doesn’t mean you’ve failed.

• You will outgrow people, places, and even parts of yourself. Let them go with love.

• You are allowed to start over—again and again. There is no deadline for becoming whole.

How You Can Start Today (Even If You Feel Stuck)

If you take nothing else from this, take this: healing doesn’t start when you feel ready. It starts the moment you decide that you deserve to try. Here are three small, immediate steps you can take:

1. Write down one thing you’re proud of surviving. Proof that you’re stronger than your worst days.

2. Move your body for five minutes. It doesn’t have to be exercise—just move. Shake off the heaviness.

3. Text someone and tell them one good thing about them. Connection heals in ways we don’t always see.

The Light After Darkness

I won’t tell you healing is easy. But I will tell you it’s worth it. The version of you that’s waiting on the other side of this pain? They’re stronger, softer, wiser. And they are worth fighting for.

One day, you’ll wake up, and the weight won’t be as heavy. One day, you’ll laugh, and it won’t feel forced.

One day, you’ll realize that your darkest moment didn’t define you—it transformed you.

And when that day comes, I hope you look back with love, knowing you never gave up on yourself.

Because you didn’t. And you won’t. You’re healing—one small step at a time.

The deepest hurt in love isn’t the chaos—it’s standing beside someone, both knowing it’s over. No drama, no final words, just crushing silence and an unspoken goodbye that settles in your chest like a cold truth. You wait for closure, but all that remains is the echo of what was left unsaid.

- Dear Luna, It Fades Away